C L O S E R

Week .002 // Los Angeles

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Los Angeles has its own speed.

 

At times it feels breakneck. Wake up, work out, try to land a shoot, make connections, get lunches, network, slide into DMs so many times i'd lose track of time. So many chances happen all at once, I can barely keep up. New friends, rooftop parties, clients in gated communities where I'd wait outside to be rung in. Their houses were always immaculate when I finally stepped through the front door. The money could be right at times, so damn right. House wives seeking companionship and other workers needing a kind touch, producers who wanted me to take control and models who were so beautiful to look at, i'd double take when they let me into their apartments.

 

Of course, this was the best scenario. Sometimes my line was dry for days. No calls. No emails.

Other times its slow. Spending the morning getting up, drinking coffee in the sunlight off a third story balcony before it gets too hot. By 10 am my skin would be warm to the touch. I wore loose great sweats and could feel them cling to my body in the heat.

Los Angeles has its pull.

I could see myself here. My country boy sensibilities want to run back to the siskiyous and spend the rest of my days in a trailer with nothing but ponderosa pines as my friends.

But now isn't the time.

I've lost a lot recently. But I see it as growth. I see it as a gift. I've been out of options many times before, but i've cut my teeth and i'm weathered. I know I can handle this.

Now is time, more than ever, for me to create. To write it down. To show all sides. Right now its still radical for someone like me to be out and exist. So i'll do what I know and move forward.

By traveling I make my family bigger. By trying to travel by the skin of my teeth, i've got nothing left to lose and everything to gain. I want to help my community. I want folks to understand what its like being trans in america. Being gay and trans in america. Being a sex worker, and to be respected as one, in america.

Los Angeles has the budget and the hunger to back such a lofty dream.

And me?

I'm going to keep trying to make my family bigger. Take moments. Give hugs. Show kindness. I'm going to try and land johns left and right so I can continue to travel and help show the world that we out here, we've been out here, and my community is so strong, supportive, and beautiful, that we can start to heal each other.

And in Los Angeles, I think there are some people who want to help heal and make change, too.

Xoxo,

Viktor

 

 

 

Week .001 // See You Again Soon, Chicago <3

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Chicago was a dream. 

 

I met so many incredible people. I saw so many wonderful clients! 

I couldn't have had a better time. The meal I had at Chicago Diner was epic.

Their strawberry shake was UNREAL. But the brownie sundae? Melty, chocolate-y, marshmallow-y, warm brownie meets cold, creamy ice cream goodness made me feel like I was going to cum. 

I love sweets. Can you tell? 

For those that don't know, I also have a chronic illness that makes eating for fun, and eating in generally, usually very, very painful and uncomfortable for me. I have Ulcerative Colitis and have had severe symptoms for the past four or five years.

 

I document everything fun I eat because most of the time i'm surviving off of very mild foods and small portions of things that are high in protein and digest easily (i.e. protein shakes and peanut butter sandwiches). I know its going to hurt and i'll pay a hefty price for it. But my life isn't about depravation. Its about celebration! I have a chronic illness and do everything I can to make sure that i'm healthy and don't hurt myself too much. But I also have a sweet tooth, and if i'm feeling bold I will go to TOWN on a sundae. Its worth it to me! Its all about balance. 95% of the time, i'm super good, and 5% of the time, I want ice cream. Well, 100% of the time I want ice cream, but my Colitis says "hell no!". 

Anyways, the food was great. 

I met some cuties along the way too! I saw a previous fling at Berlin and we chatted all night. It was cute to see him and he looked so happy! I'm that type of person where I love seeing old dates or hook ups thrive. You can't always be someones partner and thats okay. The night we spent together was great, but afterward we went in different directions. It didn't stop us from making out, which I will never complain about a sweet, tender kiss!

I had hoped to see an old client this trip. 

You know, being an escort, I really do care about my clients. The ones that I get to know, I spend weeks with, the clients who I take care of. 

My feelings are real when I say I care. 

Its transactional and I'm not new. You're giving me money and i'm posturing as your lover, boyfriend, daddy, boy, puppy, friend, whatever you want me to be. You're paying for a level of intimacy and I provide that. From one hour to a couple weeks, I still genuinely care about making someone feel good. 

I hope she knows that I want the best out of life for her. That I think she can take on the world and I think taking risks is scary, but its worth giving it a shot. 

She was an escort too, as many of my clients are. She needed care so badly. She took care of everyone. Emotionally, physically, everything in between. 

When I touched her for the first time I could tell she was over worked. Burn out as an escort is very real and I know how hard the girls work in this industry. Its physically demanding and emotionally draining at times. 

My touch is something I do know is special. It can make someone calm. It can make someone feel electric. It can make you shudder and it can burn into your memory. Its because my heart is in it. Every time. Every single time. And every time she booked me, I wanted my touch to help soothe her. Give her life. Care for her. 

And I think she grew out from needing my services. Which feels kind of amazing. 

When I first saw her, she was lost. The last time I saw her, she had a revelation. We wrote her lifes plans down, even if it was out of this world. I told her she could reach for the stars.

And that night her eyes spoke volumes. Inspired, excited, free. 

I think she found what she was looking for. It was in her all along. 

And Chicago is lucky to have her. 

I can't wait to be back and meet new friends, see incredible clients (esp the cutie I saw the first night, I will wear my fave nike tights next time, just for you) kiss dreamy boys all night long, and set some hearts on fire. 

Until next time <3

I'm off to LA for the week now, I can't wait to see what the future holds! 

 

Xoxo, 

Viktor 

Week .001 // Chicago, Day Two

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(how cute is my friends cat???) 

 

 

Femme’s Room was amaaaaaazing! 

 

From the folks who threw it to everyone who came out, being at Berlin felt like coming home. 

 

It was a small club, but everyone seemed open and happy. I cruised cuties and met so many folks. 

 

The sense of community here is amazing. I kissed a birthday boy who’s name I never got, and had a sweet younger transguy come up to me and politely ask for a smooch. 

 

I love long hugs and kisses! I gave them out freely and a smile plastered on my face a mile wide. 

 

My keyboard is broken on my computer, but I got a plug in USB one for the time being. That being said, I edited a video! It took a long time, but I really wanted to get ONCE A WEEK back up and running! 

 

Its with Pup Amp! We talk about dating as a gay transman, what it means to be a good Daddy, and snacks! 

 

I can’t wait to see what the weekend holds, Chicago! 

 

Xoxo, 

Viktor

Week .001 // Chicago, Day One.

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Chicago!

 

 

Less than 24 hours in town & i’ve already fallen in love with you!

 

I had an incredible client last night, which is always something that sets the mood for a city. Cuddles, kisses, and making sure someone has a good time, what more could I ask for? 

 

Tonite i’ll be hosting a party at Berlin, where i’ll dip my toes in the water in nightlife.

 

If anyone is looking to stop by, heres the link to the event <3

http://do312.com/events/2017/9/7/femmes-room-ft-samone-house-of-ninja

 

Who lives in Chicago? Got a favorite spot to eat? Want me to swing by your coffee shop / bar / etc to say? 

 

I’ll be here until Sunday! 

 

I can’t wait to see another client this friday, where i’ll be collaring a new puppy for the first time and going through some basic commands. It seems like theres a high demand for BDSM & kink here, which i’m always excited to provide :) 

 

Can’t wait to share what trouble I get into at Femme’s Room <3

 

Xoxo, 

Viktor 

 

Week .001 // Hello World.

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Hey. Hi. Hello, 

 

My name is Viktor. 

 

I've been spending the past four years curating an internet personality in the pursuit of happiness, fame, fortune, and inspiring others. 

 

And frankly I don't know if achieved any of those things. 

 

So, now, i've decided to open up more. Show you more. Bring you closer. 

 

Because I have nothing left to lose. 

 

So, here it goes. I'm going to tell you whats happening in my personal life. What I really do, on the day to day. What my existence means besides a selfie here and promotional post there. 

 

So let me bring you up to speed.

 

Two weeks ago I got fired from my day job because of speaking up. For saying I didn't feel safe. I worked at a gay bar in the Castro here in SF. I reached out to my manager after a new employee had made me feel unsafe. He asked my trans status, what surgeries i'd had, and about my genitals while we were alone in back, I told my manager what had happened, and he hired the same employee at another bar owned by the company. He then told me that I could never mention being in porn, doing sex work, or anything around being a sex worker ever again. Keep in mind that for most jobs this would be a totally reasonable request. Except that they've hired a bunch of other out sex workers and porn stars through the years. In fact, one of my other co-workers was an out escort as well. Was he being told the same thing? And why was I being punished for telling someone I didn't feel safe? This was the one space where I could be out. I can't get other jobs because i'm usually unqualified for them. I'm a high school drop out and a lot of places find out that i'm trans, or a sex worker, find an excuse to fire me.

 

Its happened over and over again through my whole transition. 

 

So, I was put between a rock and hard place where no matter what, I would lose. 

 

I've maintained my finances though sex work, odd jobs, and selling nudes on the internet. 

 

Now, without a day job as my main form of income, i've decided to take the leap and see if I can survive, yet again, on my own body and creativity. 

 

The thing is, i've been here many times before. 

 

But this time, I feel like I know I can make something special. I can devote my time to sharing my life, creating more connections, and being present for my community. 

I know that I can keep making content and putting myself out there. And I know the things that make me un-hire-able, undesirable, and unqualified in some spaces are my gifts and blessings in others. 

So i'm going to share my life with you and share my hustle. I want to share my success and failure. 

I want to show you that I am human and trying my best to set my heart on fire in hopes to warm the world. 

Are you ready to learn with me? To grow with me? 

I'm ready to take it on with you. I'm here with open arms, to learn and to love. 

 

I've decided to make this my blog, and to also vlog on my onlyfans.

 

 

Keep you eyes peeled for photo & video updates, rambles and writing about my travels, and my experience being a traveling escort. 

 

So, come get closer. 

 

Xoxo, 

Viktor