Its been a great weekend so far in my world.
I started it with gogo dancing at The Cafe in the Castro on Friday! I really love the space they've made for me at that venue. When I started gogo dancing, I never thought i'd get booked such a mainstream gay club. I love being up on stage with a big smile on my face. I'm not the biggest, the most ripped or the best dancer, but I love a beat and will shake my ass all night long. I think my enthusiasm comes across well.
I spent the rest of my weekend handling errands and reflecting. I'm at a interesting place with my feelings around self worth, whats truly validating to me, and how much time I'm investing into things that truly service me.
What does this new direction mean to me? Where do I go from here? What am I trying to do? Who am I trying to help? How can I get better? Where does the work need to be done?
For now, i'm going to focus on making my zine and sharing stories about my sexuality. I really hope you enjoy this new medium of storytelling and communication.
I think social media has been wonderful for me and has given me so much life, support, friends and joy. But the blatant censorship of certain bodies and policing of sexuality waters down the things I want to share with you.
Whew! All the feelings.
But, what would life be without a tender heart and desire to grow? Growing pains are just another opportunity to rise to a new challenge.
I also walked in Golden Gate Park today. I like to go there when I need some time to process. Its wild to think that seven years ago I used to sleep there at night. I wanted to make it so bad. I did whatever I could to survive. It was freezing today around noon. I don't even know how I made it through shit like that.
Guess I'm supposed to be here, huh?