blog

welcome, stranger.

Yesterday I got back onto my handles and such. 

 

I've got a lot of new projects coming up, and a couple contracts require me to be active on them. 

 

Its been a strange / wonderful couple weeks to get to know myself a little better. I've learned a couple really important pieces that bring meaning into my life. The most important part is that I don't give up. And I won't lie, I'm tired. I'm so, so, so tired of fighting. I'm tired of hitting the wall, over and over, hoping that something sticks. But if I give up, who will take my place? If I give up, what else do I live for? 

I have nothing left to lose. 

Theres a platform and i'm going to use it. There are voices that aren't being heard and i'm going to try my hardest to elevate those who don't have my same level of access. The fight for equal rights and protections for trans folks is far from being over. I can't rest until its fair. I can't give up until I know that we won't be broken, beaten, or damned just for existing. My heart will not rest until there is protections for us. Until there is a clear future with us in it. 

So, I will keep going. Pushing. Sharing. Loving without fear. Showing that my existence isn't just a statistic, that i'll make it past 30, and that a kid who came from a small mountain town in oregon can be a man who helps warm the world with a raging fire in my heart. 

I also learned that I actually love having a day job, along with escorting. It works well for me. I also love working in sexual health, and providing trans folks with cash in hand for their time, and free medication. Its a win-win all around. 

(if you want to see / learn about what I do, lurk staystudy.org

 

So heres to the future, kittens & pups. I'm gunna give 'em hell. 

 

Xoxo, 

Viktor  

 

 

 

 

 

up & r u NN i n g

Hello Hello! 

After a month of adjusting, centering myself, and getting rest, I finally have finished my the first volume of o n l y !!!

The idea is that i'll be producing a zine with stories & photos once a month, with the subject changing each volume. It will be a way for me to share my personal stories in a more direct way with you. 

You can grab a digital copy here

 

or

 

Pick up a hard copy of the zine here! 

 

Pretty exciting, huh? I hope you like it. Being off of social media has been interesting. I've felt a little lost. But I've kept myself busy with travel, seeing clients, and some personal healing. I've been doing work here in SF in a more structured way (read; got a day job), but its doing some really wonderful work to get trans folks access to PrEP. I'll tell you more about it later, I have some big things in store! 

 

<3 

 

Xoxo, 

Viktor

 

 

Weekends are for _______

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Hello Hello! 

Its been a great weekend so far in my world. 

I started it with gogo dancing at The Cafe in the Castro on Friday! I really love the space they've made for me at that venue. When I started gogo dancing, I never thought i'd get booked such a mainstream gay club. I love being up on stage with a big smile on my face. I'm not the biggest, the most ripped or the best dancer, but I love a beat and will shake my ass all night long. I think my enthusiasm comes across well. 

I spent the rest of my weekend handling errands and reflecting. I'm at a interesting place with my feelings around self worth, whats truly validating to me, and how much time I'm investing into things that truly service me. 

What does this new direction mean to me? Where do I go from here? What am I trying to do? Who am I trying to help? How can I get better? Where does the work need to be done? 

For now, i'm going to focus on making my zine and sharing stories about my sexuality. I really hope you enjoy this new medium of storytelling and communication. 

I think social media has been wonderful for me and has given me so much life, support, friends and joy. But the blatant censorship of certain bodies and policing of sexuality waters down the things I want to share with you. 

 

Whew! All the feelings. 

 

But, what would life be without a tender heart and desire to grow? Growing pains are just another opportunity to rise to a new challenge. 

I also walked in Golden Gate Park today. I like to go there when I need some time to process. Its wild to think that seven years ago I used to sleep there at night. I wanted to make it so bad. I did whatever I could to survive. It was freezing today around noon. I don't even know how I made it through shit like that. 

 

Guess I'm supposed to be here, huh? 

 

Xoxo, 

Viktor

Hello, friends.

This is the start of something new. 

Over the past four years, i've posted on platforms, shared my adventures, and got to grow with you. 

But, i've been feeling stagnant. Stifled. 

I want to show you more. 

Because I don't want to be censored. 

I want to show you whats real. 

Social media has played a huge part in my visibility and reach. But it has parameters that wants me to tone down my sexuality. Thats just not authentic to me. 

So, i've chosen to walk away from my handles for a minute and focus on quality over quantity. I'll be posting a bunch on this blog. If you want a daily dose of half naked selfies and videos, you can check out my onlyfans here!

I'm also creating a monthly zine that will have a different focus with each volume. It will be filled with images, articles, and details about me that you can't find anywhere else. 

So, what do you want to see? What would you like to know? 

Leave a comment if you'd like, send me an email if you have further questions, and from the bottom of my heart....

Thank you. For everything. I can't wait to continue to grow with you. 

 

Xoxo, 

Viktor